What if instead of fighting like soldiers we fought like musicians?

Culturally we seem to be addicted to violence. Children’s toys include guns, swords, bows and arrows, armour, shields and lifesavers. Our entertainment is drenched in epic battles and choreographed fight scenes that look as captivating as a dance. The evening news reports are filled with the cruelties that we inflicted on each other. 1 in 5 Australian women have experienced domestic violence and yet we are one of the safest counties in the world.

But it is not unique to us. Every civilisation and all history classes are filled with human violence and torture. However, what if our fighting didn’t have to be violent and wasn’t necessarily bad?

When Musician’s Fight

Fighting which seems to be so entrenched in our DNA is a necessity for every musician and creative. But musicians are not just fighting against other people. As a musician the primary person you will come up against is yourself. Luckily, our weapons are not designed to cause physical harm.

Musicians fight with choices and attitudes that ultimately determine our artistic success and life.

The Purpose of a Fight

Fight is a doing word. It is something you are actively involved in. To fight means to “struggle to overcome, eliminate, achieve, or prevent”. 

When You Are Your Own Worst Enemy

Despite being musically gifted, musicians still struggle with everything that their crafted demands. Just like every human, we come up against great internal opposition. Determination, perseverance and patience are our blunder. Our weapons are our choices but they also have to be accompanied by a strategic plan.  

As musicians, we choose to practice our craft but we need a plan that will empower us to achieve this. Your plan is everything that you put in place for when you are feeling unmotivated. Your plan helps you get up an hour earlier even when you really don’t want to. It also inspired you to continually persevere. And gives your practice purpose and direction.

The Plan

My plan includes setting practice goals, staying inspired by connecting with other peoples music and watching inspirational talks on YouTube. However, you cannot fight against laziness, procrastination or apathy alone.  You need comrades in arms to stand by your side. These might look like books, blogs, mentors, teacher, colleagues, friends and family. And it is your responsible to go after and foster these relationships.

Fighting Against Others

1. Expectations

Unfortunately, nobody can exist in a vacuum. (Although some days I wish I could). In this regard, one of our biggest oppositions can be other people’s expectations. It happens without even being consciously aware of it. And it is something we can encounter nearly every day. They are the ‘shoulds’ and ‘should nots’ that we live by. Our family may expect us to be realistic and get a ‘real job’, attend a particular university, marry by a certain age and never get divorced. Friends bring with them their own set of expectations and even we ourselves can expect either too much or too little of ourselves.

We fight expectations through awareness, reflections, evaluation and then making conscious and deliberate choices. Do we align with other peoples expectations? Can we agree to disagree? Where do they help and where do they hinder? To fight against expectations that you have long adhere to you is hard. You will need to post reminders around the places that you frequent, the fridge door, bathroom mirror, desk and wall opposite your bed are great starting points. It could be a phrase or simple sentence like ‘I do not need to be perfect’, ‘nobody including myself is perfect’ or ‘I do not need other peoples approval to pursue music’.

2. The Acceptance of Normal

Anything can become normal if you repeat it enough times. This can be both a blessing and a curse. It means that abuse can become normalized but then so can public speaking, practice, healthy eating and exercise. However, if you want to change your normal you will have to fight.

One of the hardest parts about changing your normal is first identifying what your normal is and how it could be different. An insightful friend, counselor or good psychologist can be invaluable in helping you to figure this out. Then, once you have identified an aspect of your normal that is not serving you, you can develop a plan to help you establish a new one.

I personally love using a habit or practice tracker to help me establish a new normal in my life. Another option might be to set up an accountability partner.

When You Have to Fight Against Others and Yourself

Sometimes fighting means not hiding. This is something that I seriously struggle with. Hiding is safe and becoming either invisible or camouflaged seems to be a natural gift of mine. But sometimes this is not a good thing.

While hiding does avoid confrontation and vulnerability; it also prevents you from reaching your full potential and thriving in life. And there are so many different things you could be hiding from and so, so many valid reasons for choosing to do so.

Examples of Hiding

Musicians wear their emotions on their sleeves during a performance. When it is finished we lock them away again until the next show. This is not healthy and is a form of hiding from yourself.

Ignoring your feelings, thoughts, energy levels, health and any other aspect of your being can be an  (unhealthy) coping method. It can result in depression, anxiety, eating disorders and various other unpleasant disorders.

Many times we will have to fight to deal with the aspects ourselves that we would rather ignore, the things that have happened to us and the numerous mistakes we have made.

Not hiding means coming to terms with your life and embracing who you really are. Defining yourself simply as ‘the quiet one’ is limiting and does not adequately address who are you. 

Final Thoughts

Fighting might look like becoming involved in a community group, socializing regularly and being totally open and honest with a close friend.

It could look like journaling and spending time thinking about yourself and who you are, exercising, following through with healthy eating or sticking to a practice routine.

Fighting is hard, it is not supposed to be pleasant. But as all the great heroes from our violent movies have attempted to teach us, it is hard but it is worth it. And that is why we do it.

This article was inspired by a sermon given by Jo Baker from The Ark Community Church. Click here to listen.

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