The Proud Musician

No one wants to be remembered as being the proud musician. But what many don’t realise is that pride is quite a natural feeling that can present itself in many different forms. It’s most common forms is arrogance and insecurity. Both of which can greatly impact your life as a musician or music student.

Pride in and of itself is an intriguing and complex topic. Understanding it on a superficial and intellectual level is easy. But, exploring it on a personal level takes a great deal of vulnerability and courage. Pride or being proud is frequently seen as a character flaw that we can avoid if we work hard. It is commonly followed by catchy and immensely popular self-help slogans of ‘don’t be arrogant’ and ‘everybody is equal’. But pride is not a state of being that can be either achieved or avoided. Broken down into its most simplistic form, pride is an emotion. Consequently, it is experienced by everyone.

Pride Is A Feeling

Having moments of being the Proud Musician is not a problem. The problem is when ‘the proud musician’ becomes your identity. Emotions are strange and complex things that are deeply intertwined with our thoughts and beliefs. They are something we can influence but attempting to control them often leads to depression and anxiety. Denying or suppressing our pride is problematic and can greatly impact our work as musicians and artists. It is said, that the person who is oblivious to their pride and thinks it is not a problem is indeed the proudest of all.

Defining Pride

Like many things, there are two sides to pride. But instead of thinking of them as diametrically opposite think of them as being on a continuum which gradually fades into each other. Humans love things that are black and white, that can be neatly categorised and precisely defined. But realistically we spend the majority of our time not in these outer extremes but in the varying shades of grey.

At one end of the spectrum, pride is a “foolish and irrational corrupt sense of one’s personal value, status, accomplishments and ability. We all know people who struggle with this. Usually, we try to avoid them. They are arrogant, unfortunately unteachable, very disagreeable and not particularly pleasant to be around.

At the other end of the spectrum is “a humble and content sense of attachment towards one’s own or another’s choices and actions or toward a whole group of people. It is  also a production of praise, independent self-reflection and a fulfilled feeling of belonging.”

I think that as with all the emotions everyone has visited these outer extremes but we spend the majority of our time living in the greys.

Pride That Harms Musicians

There are two manifestations of pride that are particularly harmful to musicians. Their impact steams right through from the youngest beginner to the oldest and most advanced professionals. All are susceptible to them simply because all are human.

The Arrogant Musician

The stereotype of the proud musician is one who is arrogant. Arrogance does not reserve itself for the accomplished elite. In fact, I regularly encounter it among my beginner students. It is found in the declarations of ‘that’s easy’, ‘I already know that’, and ‘I prefer doing it like this’. Many times these remarks only come up amongst beginners when they are in a group lesson. No two individuals will learn at the same pace and this is one of the challenges in managing the dynamics of a group lesson. It is perfectly normal and expected that one student will progress at a faster pace to the other. This in and of itself is not a problem. The problems only start arising when the more advanced student realises that by comparing themselves to there lesson partner they gain a superficial sense of superiority. It is only human nature to attempt to validate these feelings by gaining the acknowledgment of either their teacher, lesson partner or both.

Older more advanced students usually receive one on one lessons. Unfortunately, if they haven’t worked on this aspect of themselves they then try to compete against their teacher. These students end up slowing down their own progress. Instead of absorbing information like a dry sponge they reflect it. Many times in lessons they try to demonstrate that they don’t need to practice a particular technique. What they don’t realise is that their heroic demonstration merely highlights to the teacher all the work that they have yet to do. And the teacher is left in the awkward position of trying to address the techniques problems from a different angle. While this in and of itself isn’t a problem it just creates more work for both teacher and student.

It is somewhat clichéd that professional musicians have a certain arrogance to them. Some falsely believe this is necessary for their line of work and consequently adopt a ‘diva’ or ‘rock star’ mentality. As a musician, I agree that it is one of the darker temptations of our line of work. We live comparatively high profile lives. Interact with hundreds sometimes thousands and even millions of other people.  Some of us enjoy or tolerate the fame that comes with being a musician. It can honestly be challenging not to give in to our feelings of pride that tend to result in subsequent arrogant behaviour. Perhaps one of the antidotes is to focus on your music as opposed to yourself as a person.

In contrast, some of the best musicians I have worked with are also the most humble. They recognise their ability but they also understand that everyone offers a unique and valuable perspective. These musicians became so ‘good’ possible because they believe in lifelong learning and the idea that everybody has something to offer regardless of age and experience.

Insecurity

Perhaps the total opposite to arrogance is insecurity however they both have their roots in pride. Insecurity is something that I personally struggle with a lot and its taken me a crazy long time to see its connection to pride. But just as the arrogant musician is in part shaped by their environment so too is the insecure one. Understanding why someone is the way they are, should not be used as a justification or excuse for them remaining that way. Instead, it can be used as a starting point for growth and personal development.

I have lived through bullying both in the workplace and at school. I had parents who for numerous reasons beyond their control, found themselves to be too busy to parent. I have been betrayed by friends and loved ones and could quite easily share a story that would win your sympathy and understanding. I know, that people who go through ‘stuff’ often end up struggling with crippling insecurity and I understand that it is not their fault. As Psalm 18:21 states ‘the tongue has the power of life and death’. Words which can build someone up can also completely tear someone down.

Pride, which is the “foolish and irrational corrupt sense of one’s personal value, status, accomplishments and ability” can go in both directions. Musicians can experience an overinflated sense of their abilities and worth. But, can also experience a gross devaluation of their abilities and worth. However, at the core of both extremes is a corrupt sense of self.

No one is more or less than human even though our experiences and emotions would like us to believe otherwise. If we stripe our understanding of pride back to being a total focus on self and the expectation of others to do the same, we can begin to draw an interesting parallel between arrogance and insecurity.

I am the best
I am the worse

I can do that
 I can’t do that