The Courage To Be A Musician

Courage is not something you either do or don't have. It's not a magical talent that only a lucky few are born with and it's definitely not having no fear. Every human being feels fear just like they do sadness and joy. Fear is our bodies warning system. It sends us unpleasant signals, informing us that something bad or painful is potentially about to happen. It doesn't matter if the bad thing is guaranteed or imagined, so long as we perceive its presents fear is going to be there.

We have two natural responses to fear:

1. Fight
2. Flight, or to put it less eloquently, run away

The not so natural response that seems to be reserved for firefighters and superheroes is courage. But it is not something that should be reserved for the top 1% of the population. Courage is a practice. It is a disciplined choice. Courage is being okay with feeling absolutely terrified.  It means that despite the agonising feelings, you consciously choose to act despite anyhow.

It can be beneficial to think of courage as being like a muscle. If you don't use it, it will still exist as part of your body. It will, however, be extraordinarily week and underdeveloped. But the more regularly and consistently you use it the stronger and more stable it will get. And, just like you can't wake up one day and decide to run a 10-kilometre marathon you can't expect yourself to wake up and magically have enough courage to jump in a lion's den.

Whether you’re a complete beginner or the most advanced player in the world it takes courage to be a musician. Learning an instrument is actually one of the best places to practice being courageous. Every week at your lesson you have to have the courage to play in front of your teacher, even though you might make a mistake. Courage in a music lesson is choosing to believe that your teacher wants to help you learn and improve. It is ignoring the voice in your head that whispers 'your not very good' and 'you'll never be able to do that'. 

It also takes courage to practice a difficult passage of music at home because we get frightened by the notion that we won't be able to master it. And every time you ask a question and admit you don't know anything you are practising courage. Even teaching takes courage.

Courage seeps through every aspect of being a musician. It flows through improvisation, composition, theory exams and performances. You have to be brave enough to put the pen to the page and vulnerable enough to feel your emotions and share them through your art. It takes courage to share your work with others and stand in front of the never-ending barrage of 'what if' questions: what if I'm not good enough? What if I get it wrong?

Courage is a skill you will be forever working on but it is always something that can bring great joy and satisfaction. This is because enjoyment comes from actively participating. For example, if you are doing a group music activity at school then it is highly likely that everybody involved will be feeling some form of fear. If you let that fear talk you out of participating then at the end of the class your still going to be feeling really bad. You'd likely be thinking 'everyone else could it, there's something wrong with me, I'm just not good enough'. However, if you listened to how you felt but decided to participate anyway your hands would be all sweety, your face might feel hot and your heart might beat so loud that the person next to can hear it but it would all come to an end. And when it does your not going to be filled with regret or secretly wishing you had participated. And if it didn't go as planned you can turn it into a funny story to tell your grandkids. You will also be opening yourself up to feeling a sense of satisfaction and fulfilment that mere watching the activity would never have provided.

It takes courage to ride this roller coaster of emotion but with it comes the most beautiful highs and temporary lows.